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Writer's pictureShondalae Benson

The Perfect Relationship... or not?

Let’s say that you were building a really neat and happy place to live, absolutely perfect. And you knew somebody that could not get there on their own but you earnestly desired to have them in your life. So you sacrificed the most important thing you had in order to make a way for them to get there because you loved them so much. And they were happy and said they loved you, too, and they accepted your offer and told you that they were going to be your best friend and appreciated you for it.


But as you finished your house they completely ignored you and their actions showed they did not want to be in relationship with you. Or worse they betrayed you in the worst possible way, insulting you, and spreading rumors and lies about you. And then, when they realized that they were going to lose everything they had, they begged you to let them into your house solely because they knew that it was the only good place to be, not because they wanted to be with you. Would you let them? Or would you be angry and turn them away?


Maybe they didn’t ignore you completely. Maybe they enjoyed being in your life to a point, but when it came down to what they really wanted, they chose selfishness even when they knew it would really hurt you. They didn’t commit to working at the relationship and growing and striving for the best for both of you. They said they wanted you in your life but repeatedly chose behavior that caused you pain because you weren’t important enough to them. How about that person? Would you want them in your life?


I certainly wouldn’t want them there. And there is no purgatory or judgment or “good behavior” that would change my mind. What good would it do to make them face consequences or follow some penance if they didn’t want relationship with me? What does it matter how “good” they are if they don’t care about being in my life or whether they hurt me? All they care about is my house or using me. And I would turn away anyone who treated me like that. I understand what it feels like on a whole new level now and I couldn’t endure a relationship like that.


That is how those who claim to believe in Jesus but don’t follow his ways treat Him and God. We can’t just say “I believe in Jesus” and not show it and still get to live with him. If we love him, we obey his commands. Commands designed for the best in our hearts and our lives and which bring us into a relationship that fills us with incredible love, joy, hope, strength, courage and peace.


The amazing thing about God is his forgiveness is infinite, his compassion indescribable. No matter how many times we fall down, no matter how many times we hurt him, his love for us will continue as long as we work at dedicating ourselves to him and striving to improve our relationship with him. But if we ignore him and betray him and repeatedly hurt him without sincerely working to change and be reconciled he, too, will turn us away.


The closer we get to God, the more we will feel that incredible love and the more we will be so filled up and satisfied. And the fleeting things of this world that only give us a temporary moment of pleasure will seem so insignificant that we no longer desire them because we have something so much better, so much deeper, so much more fulfilling and so much more beautiful.

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